I wish I knew what was wrong with me. I just don't feel good. Hardly ever. I am supposed to be a volunteer at The Bear's school, but I haven't done anything in a LONG time. His teacher probably thinks I'm the worse mom ever. I never know what kind of day it's going to be. It's hard to plan ahead. So many days, I wake up with a horrible headache. Sometimes, I barely make it out of bed. Many days, I get my family out the door and then sleep for another couple of hours. I feel guilty.
I have been sick so many times. I have been on antibiotics 10 times in the last year. I know it's not good, but what can I do? I am feeling sick again, but I keep putting off going to the Dr. to see if I can fight it off myself. I have made an appointment in two weeks with an Immunologist. I have read that some people are born without certain antibodies to fight off infections. Sounds like me. Although I hope they are able to give me some answers, I'm not counting on it. I have been to so many doctors. I have had so many tests. I am so sick of it.
I feel like a failure as a wife and mother. I am not taking care of things like I think they should be taken care of. My house falls apart around me. Living in a house of boys, they just don't see things like I do. I want to be able to do it all. What's wrong with that?
I just don't feel good. I just don't feel good.