Thursday, June 26, 2008

Where have all the good times gone?

Last week, a girl from church called and asked if I would be the auctioneer at a "service auction" they are having tonight. She said they wanted someone to do it that would make it "fun". You guys...I haven't felt "fun" for a very long time. When I have to, like tonight, or last week at the reunion, I can fake a good "fun". But afterwards, I seriously crash.

I have always been the one people count on for "fun". When I worked, I was the go to gal in planning various festivities, from store meetings to Christmas parties. My family expects certain "fun-ness" from me. I am a "drama" type person and can usually put on a good show. But, I just don't feel it anymore. I'm tired. I'm grouchy. Sometimes I feel like people are sucking the life out of me. What's wrong with me?

I want to get back to that happy go lucky girl I used to be. What happened to her?

Agggghhhhhh!! Maybe I'll pick up a Rockstar and some Excedrin on my way to the Auction tonight...for a little kick in the pants. (Just kidding...sorta.)


Strider said...

Maybe it's time for a change of some kind. I went through what you are describing several years ago. Sometimes God sets us aside, taking us into the wilderness, so we can get intament with Him. We can be so busy being who people expect us to be, that we grow cold towards God......not going to "Hell" cold, just not growing in our knowlege of Him. (Barring any physical reasons for the way you feel), just hang out with God for a while. Blessings.Our joy must be based on our Lord, not on what we do for him.

Sharr said...

DUDE!!! DON'T DO IT!!! lol... just say no to the rockstar/drug combo!

i like strider's comment... very insightful! screw everyone else and their preconceived notions of who you ought to be erica! we'll all get over it sooner or later :o)

Nikki said...

I think if you do not put on a show some people will not ask or think you can do everything...And you will not be doing as much, so when you are able to do it, you are excited and happy about it. It will get better...You need a erica re-treat.

SalGal said...

First, love the new skin but the blue is a bit dark and makes it hard to read.

Second... You don't have to be everything to everybody all the time. People change. I think you and I are cut from the same cloth in our talents and abilities, and sometimes... it would be nice to be the one enjoying the entertainment instead of providing it for once.

Repitan, por favor... "Wow, thanks for asking but I'd like to sit back and enjoy it this time."

See? That wasn't hard was it? Good. Now do it repeatedly until you think you want to be the entertainer again. And if you never feel that way? Welcome to the new you!

Bethany and Cameron said...

Okay, I just wanna say that you did a WONDERFUL job last night and you did make it so much fun! You always make me laugh--even when you're not trying--it's just who ya are.:) And hey, I'm all for sayin' no when you're just not feelin' it! I feel like I've really gotten to know you more through your blog and you seriously amaze me. I'm so impressed with all you do.:) Oh and FYI--the zucchini bread?? Yeah, pretty much INCREDIBLE!!! Thank you! I'm so glad I won that!

Lavinia Ladyslipper said...

Drama Mama, I sense a classic case of "burn-out". Which comes from constantly giving, giving, giving. You know, giving and doing for others, focusing on others. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but if there is no "taking", even "taking from oneself for oneself", then the batteries get flags....and the old "get up and go", then "gets up and goes".

I've been there, and it is a mysterious thing...I think one of the most painful things we can do is 'fake it' because no matter how good a show one puts on for others, the toll it takes on yourself is high. And when the show is over and the mask falls, there is a sense of downheartedness with seemingly nowhere to turn.

At times like that, I have found, personally, that having good long talks with my closest girlfriends, or a sympathetic relative, can be quite helpful and supportive. And just *realizing* that you can't be all things to all people, all the time. Remember what Cary Grant said? "Everyone wants to be Cary Grant---even I want to be Cary Grant!".

This time will pass, but it's up to you to find that way to recharge your batteries, and the good news is, it may happen without you even realizing it.

But Doctor Lavinia recommends some serious pampering and "goofing off..." for Drama Mama....

AZMom said...

Oh hon! I have the same problem saying no myself though and get burned out a lot because of it. This year I have made a conscious effort to say no to several things that I used to organize. It will be nice just to as a participant this year.

Big hugs to you! I can't wait to give you a REAL one in person tomorrow night! See you soon!

Strude said...

I have to say no to the Rockstar as well.

Mountain Dew's Amp is so much better.

But, seriously, sometimes you just have to tell people to kiss it, and do for you. You have to make time to do the things you like to do.

I agree with what was said above, being a giving person is great, but if you don't give to yourself, you'll have nothing left to give others.

The Luthy Life said...

Are you a people pleaser? You are probably so exhausted for doing everything for everyone and not taking time for yourself. It's ok to say no. How about you come hang out with me and we can have a girls night. I'll buy some sparkling cider and pop rocks and we will go crazy!!!

Dave said...

This all sounds like what I keep telling you honey.

Do the Nancy Reagan thing... Just say no. Then shoot that dern energizer bunny with a 12-guage.

Part of this is my fault, because I let you do things because you do them so much better than I do.

I'm coming down to do the dishes... love you!

nanatrish said...

You sound burned out! I think with the reunion and everything else you are probably tired. Why don't you try to do some stuff just for you? I don't mean expensive things, but just some things that make you happy. It makes me happy just walking around Jo-Ann's Fabric and Crafts. I love looking at all the stuff without someone saying hurry up let's go. Also, have you tried journaling about what is making you feel so tired and sick of faking it? Be true to yourself. You are a wonderful person and other people can do stuff. Just let them! Now that was free from the Nana Trish. Love ya