Well...first of, I'm happy to say that I'm alive! Now, here's the story:
Yesterday, I found a listing on Craigslist for a free futon frame. It was located out in Queencreek, (think, BFE) right by Dave's niece, Sharree's, new home. She was out there working on the house at the time and ran over and picked it up for me. No incident. (And it's in great shape, by the way!)
So, this morning, as I was eating breakfast and perusing the listings, I found one for a brand new futon mattress, still in the shipping plastic, for $30. A steal! So, I called the lady and told her I'd be out this afternoon to pick it up. I then called Sharree, again, and asked her to meet me there, since she had the truck this weekend, to pick it up. Well, as I got there, the neighborhood looked a little scary, and the house I was to go to was the worst of all. A variety of crap piled high, an American flag, and a big boat, all sitting in the front yard. Sharree looked terrified and locked herself and her girls in the truck, whispering loudly for me to not go inside. I headed toward the front door, finding my own path through the crap. I knocked and waited...no one came, I thought this might be a good thing. Then, a lady with two dogs answered the door. A huge waft of smoke surrounded her, along with the smell of cigarettes, both fresh and stale. "Great", I thought. I have risked my life for a smelly futon mattress. She told me to wait while she put the dogs outside, and several minutes she came back and invited me in . What to do...what to do. I stepped inside the door, but at that time, the boyfriend (holy stoned batman!) was coming through the living room, ( and I use that term loosely), carrying the mattress on his shoulder. It was indeed double wrapped in plastic. I made the decision to just take it without a great deal of inspection, after all, it was only $30, and I could always sell it again. The boyfriend tossed it into the truck and we made our escape to another location to check it out.
We took the plastic off, and it smells new...no trace of a smoky smell, although now, I'm not sure it's the right size. Sharree was totally freaked out...she may never forgive me! :P
Oh yeah...the futon is for Clinton's room...he better appreciate it! :)