I think I must project to other people an image of perkiness and self confidance. Think...heck...I know that's what I do. Actually, my confidance is ok, but my self esteem is HORRIBLE! And...sometimes I don't feel like being perky. It is very draining. It is very hard to be "on" all the time. What happens is, I go to different functions, church, school, etc and put on the perky face and persona, then I get home and crash into a stupor.
Why am I thinking about this now? Tonight there is a party at church, and I'm on the planning committee. When I was asked to be on the committee, I was told I was in charge of publicity, and since it is a huge job in itself, I wouldn't have to do much of anything else. Yeah...right. The activity is a Service Auction. Not only did I do all the advertising for the event, I'm also making all the centerpieces, all the necessary posters, etc for the auction and...AND...I have to be the auctioneer. Yes...I will have to be "ON" for hours.
You may be thinking..."Why don't you just say NO!" Yep...I have a big problem with that. Especially when it comes to church things. I feel like if I'm asked, I need to say yes and do the best job possible. So, here I am....glueing centerpieces, typing posters, and trying to psych myself up for a night of "fun".
I think this waking up at 5:30 is taking its toll.