I'm still not sure how to solve my problem with keeping things clean, but thanks for all the great suggestions. I have decided to have a Family Home Evening lesson on it tonight. (yes, I know I'm a day late, but I was not in a happy place yesterday!) We are all going to sit down together as a family and decide what needs to change. I'm going to try really hard not to blame, judge, or be negative. I just want everyone's suggestions on what we can do to make our family happier and me not crazy! I don't like being the Monster Mom!
I'll let you know how it goes....cross your fingers!